Hawkward...

My little brother, AJ, is pretty much the greatest thing to have happened to this world since sliced bread...or at least that is what he would have you think :) He is determined that no one else on this planet can possibly contain the same level of awesomeness as he has. He is epic and he makes sure everyone and their dog knows it...Today I got to spend a plethora of time with him and trust me, that means there was never a dull moment in my day. Here are the highlights!

-We were sitting in the game room. I was doing some Les Miserables paperwork and he was playing Battlefield. I, of course, got sidetracked by pinterest. I saw these things called fiction-bucket lists. The one I saw made me giggle so of course I decided to discover more. As I read them AJ chuckled here and there. I then read the following:

AJ replied, "I have already done that", with complete seriousness. He then continued to claim that he had done everything that followed including:

So I guess I didn't know that my brother was so amazing, but this was just one thing that told me that his epicness must not all be in his head ;)

-My brother also has this complete addiction to Mountain Dew. I do not think that it is healthy for anyone, but whatever. We tease him constantly about how he needs to attend DDA (Dew drinkers anonymous). He insists he doesn't have a problem...but hey isn't that what alcoholics do to? Anyway. He drank a large bottle of Mountain Dew this evening and then we played a games of Settlers of Cataan Cities and Knights, needless to say he was pretty hyper during the game, and proceeded to introduce us to his new favorite word. Hawkward. The funny thing was he was determined that he was so hilarious. He said, "It is the same word, but with an h on the front!" Annoyingly enough he then replied, "hawkward" to everything that was said. 

Now in my nerdy moment of the day I must make a confession. The first thing I could think of whenever he said hawkward was Hawkeye from the Avengers. I have been obsessed with that movie since I went and saw it a couple of weeks ago. Seriously, one of the best movies I have ever seen, despite the fact that the cheesy romance is non-existant. (That is usually the stuff I love!) I mean the movie had the perfect balance of funny and action. Witty writing, good acting, and intense battle sequences kept me on the edge of my seat both times that I saw it. Anyway, I decided that this picture is the representation of AJ's new word:

Hawkward :)

So anyway, I know that this post is not my usually touchy, feely stuff. But hey, what can I say. I love my brother. He really is witty, smart, and pretty much just plain awesome. But don't tell him I said that. So this post is dedicated to AJ, his new word, and the Avengers...a strange combination, but hey if you are going to write about one epic thing, you might as well make it even bigger and write about 3, right?

When I grow up, I want to be like her

When we are kids we have the grandest dreams. When my brothers, sister, and I were little we liked to play what we called, "real life games". Which is pretty much house on crack. We would play Star Wars, Harry Potter, Pirates of the Caribbean, Ancient Egypt, you know the normal stuff :) I was determined that I was really supposed to be born as an Egyptian princess and my days should have been spent sailing the Nile. It was a beautiful childhood. Every dream even becoming not only a princess, but a princess from thousands of years ago who definitely would not have been white, seemed completely achievable.

Now that I am 20 years old living in Salt Lake City my dreams have changed just a bit. Now I dream about being an amazing wife, a perfect mother, and the General Relief Society president (what can I say, my dreams are still grand. Why not reach for the stars, right?) So this post is dedicated to the woman who inspires me to be better every day. My mom. You know, my mom is really the most amazing woman I have ever met, even though she doesn't know it. She has been my rock through everything that I have had to face. You know, she has not had the easiest life, but despite her challenges she is there for me whenever I need her. She is my inspiration and my source of strength. I talk to her about everything and she listens, giving input when input is needed. Trust me, raising me was definitely a challenge. I am your definitive drama queen with a capital DRAMA! Everything was over the top and the end of the world. But she kept me grounded and on track.

It takes a great deal of strength to put up with and battle through the trials that my mom has endured and she has done it with grace and decorum. She is the kind of person that I hope that I can be one day. I know that she does not see herself that way, but I hope that one day she will. She is an amazing daughter of God and any of her children would tell you that.

Today as I was pinteresting, which has quickly become an unhealthy addiction in my life I found this beautiful music video about Emma Smith. Emma Smith inspires both my mom and I. She went through so many trials in her life and she stayed strong, despite the things people said. Today people talk bad about her and say that she didn't stay strong, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that she is one of the strongest women that has ever lived, and I look forward to meeting her one day. Mom, this music video is dedicated to you, as you stand against the storm each and every day. Happy Birthday and Happy Mother's Day! I love you so much!

Never Had an Ordinary Day

Never had an ordinary day,

never lived your life in an ordinary way.

For everything you loved you paid a price

but you couldn´t let the world see you cry.

Never had a moment of peace,

never felt the sun light when the worries set you free.

Every time your life turned a page

seemed like your heart might break.

With the world on your shoulders,

when the nights had grown colder,

you seemed to weather every storm with a queens grace.

When you lost your husband when you buried your children,

I´m sure the angels stood in reverence as you prayed.

How much can one heart take?

How much can one heart take?

Never had a day to call your own

so many needed your warm heart as a home,

whispering a mother´s lullaby

as you sat alone by the fire

I´m sure your heart breaks when some people still say, 

somewhere down the line you lost your faith.

How much can one heart take?

How much can one heart take? 

Letter to a friend...

Dear Bailee,

You are one of the most amazing friends I have ever had. When I read your amazing bosom friends post I decided to revive my blogging pursuits and write you a post of your own. Dedicated solely to you. My bosom friend. In Anne of Green Gables, Anne Shirley defines bosom friend like so, "A bosom friend-an intimate friend you know-a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul." That my dear is you. You know more about me than almost anyone, mistakes I've made, people I've liked, insecurities I have faced, and you have never judged me for any of them. You have been my rock and my foundation. From the day that we met and you shared my love of theatre you have always been someone that I knew would have my back despite the circumstances. So I am dedicating this post to you my dear, and the amazing times past, present, and future...

Some moments that I remember the most:

-Getting stuck in an elevator in NYC (after our hotel room had been attacked by a tornado and we had to eat dirty water hot dogs for our first NYC meal of course!)

-Filling out those papers at Jadean's when we had all the same answers.
-Our creepy lesbian roommate at Shakespeare.
-"She was only ugly until the end."
-Dancing in the first snow of the year.
-...which reminds me of the time that we watched Gilmore Girls and we wanted to get to the part when Logan comes into Rory's class and embarrases her, but we did not have a remote so we had to watch a plethora of episodes first.
-Introducing you to Titanic
-Buying posters at Wal-mart of Flynn Rider (the ideal man)
-Catching VD
-Giving up on making it to Palumbo's class, because your car was completely iced and we knew we would be late anyway.
-Memorizing our Shakespearean monologues in the dressing room the day of the performances.
-Festival of Colors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Having late night chats in our dorm room.
-Laughing for hours when we saw Daniel Radcliffe in a bra.
-Helping each other run lines.
-Late night Smith's runs.
And finally...
-Almost hitting pedestrians on the way to the club,

Of course there are so many more memories, but I know that I could never name all of them. Bailee Paxman all of my greatest memories include you and I am so thankful that I have you as a friend. You are truly my other half, and the only person outside of my family that knows me better than I know myself. Your post made me so happy and I wanted you to know that I am so grateful for you :) We have made so many memories and I am so excited to see where our friendship takes us from here

And since I know you love quotes, here is one for you... "We weren't sisters from birth, but we knew from the start, fate brought us together to be sisters by heart." ~Unknown~

Love you girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Knights and Castles and Dungeons...Oh my!

In case some of you weren't aware...I am kind of a nerd. I mean I love reading and Star Wars and other nerdyish things. However, when I was a kid I was even more of a nerd than I am today. When you ask a middle schooler what they want to be when they grow up they answer with some generalized answer like, "Oh, I want to be a doctor" or "I want to be a teacher". But even when I was young I knew exactly what I wanted to be. I was going to be a historian and study medieval warfare and history. I do not think that it is possible to get any nerdier than that :)

I have since left those dreams behind and moved onto my dreams of becoming a theatre major, but there is still that part of me that will always be fascinated by the middle ages. With the ladies and knights and other fantastical things it just holds a special place in my heart.

One of the things that I find the most fascinating about middle ages are the "Rules of Courtly Love". Most people have heard about the code of chivalry which dictated a knight's behavior, but people are generally less familiar with these laws of Courtly Love. They tell knights how to treat and respect women, and properly conduct their relationships. Now there are many rules, but I am just going to share the ones that I find the most interesting...So, here it goes. You can all prepare to be thrust into my world of nerdiness as we look back on the romance that was the middle ages...

Rule #1: No one should be deprived of love without

the very best of reasons.

Rule #2: Love is always a stranger in the home of avarice.

Rule #3: The easy attainment of love makes it of little value;

difficulty of attainment makes it prized.

Rule#4: Every lover regularly turns pale in the presence of his beloved.

Rule#5: When a loves suddenly catches sight of his beloved his heart

palpitates.

Rule #6: He whom the thought of love vexes eats and sleeps

very little.

Rule #7: Every act of a lover ends in the thought of his beloved.

Rule #8: A true lover considers nothing good except that which he

thinks will please his beloved.

Rule #9: Love can deny nothing to love.

Rule #10: Never give evil council to a lady, whether married or not; he must

treat her with great respect and defend her against all.

Don't you just wish that everything was always like that. I love how there were rules and ideals to live by and love by that emphasized trust, faith, and utter devotion to one another. Sometimes I wish that we had things like this now in our society to create that respect and longing that many couples seem to miss out on. I know that the middle ages were by no means perfect...

I mean, they had chamber pots and disease and the feudal system which could be pretty darn harsh...but there are still moments of my life when I wish that even just for a day I could travel back to the middle ages and get the chance to feel that love and devotion that was such an important part of their culture. But for now, until the invention of a time machine I am stuck in Ogden, Utah in the year 2011 where I am boyfriendless and striving to make it through scholarship applications and important life decisions. Who knows, though, maybe one day I will meet my own knight in shining armor and realize that there really are some people out there who have their own modern day version of the rules of courtly love.

Hopeless Romantic...Me?

So, it is true that if anyone is ever to read this post they may find the whole, Confessions of a Hopeless Romantic title thing a little strange. I mean, this is me we are talking about. I have been on what, one date, in the three years since I have turned sixteen. And yes it is true that date was prom and I just went with a friend, but I am still counting it as the one date that I have ever been on. And it is also true that I once asked a guy out on a date, so I guess that means I have almost been on two dates. And I would have gone on that date, had the guy not been out of town...but still.

For me, despite the fact that I have been on just about no dates. I just "love love" as my roommate Bailee would say. I just love the gentleness and happiness that I see in people's eyes when they are crazy about someone. I love feeling like to that one person the other person is like oxygen. The only thing in the world that keeps them breathing. I know this all seems mushy and ridiculous coming out of my mouth, and I promise you that all of my posts will not be this way. But I felt the need to explain my blog name choice to you all. Whoever you are.

But, speaking on the subject of love, I must now say that I watched the cutest, cheesiest movie ever the other day. "Marigold". I was sick and so I was watching movies on netflix and I slept on and off throughout the day, and I saw the case for the movie and it looked interesting so I decided to watch it. For me, that is how movie picking works. I decide that the case looks cool and so I watch it.

The movie is about an american actress who is a total
self-absorbed freak, that gets stuck in India,
and falls in love with this super great Indian guy.

My favorite thing about the movie was that like in all Bollywood movies, the characters never actually kiss. All of the chemistry and emotion has to come from the looks that they give each other and for me, I feel like sometimes the looks are the perfect way to communicate love, rather than kisses that can be faked. In order for the actors to look at each other that way true chemistry has to be involved. Here is a little sneak peak...

Anyway, I have already rambled on for long enough. But I just loved this movie, and despite the cheesiness I think you should all watch it. So it's not the greatest acting in the world, but that doesn't mean it's not worth it. :)